Stop saying you're sorry

Great communication will help you get what you want. Sure, some people are just naturally charismatic just as some are just naturally superior athletes, but we can all become excellent communicators by continually tweaking small things.


Here is something you should not say often : I am sorry.  Often we use "sorry" as a filler word to wiggle out of uncomfortable situations (for example, "Sorry, do you have a minute?"), and it's about as insincere as "how are you doing." What's particularly insidious about "sorry" is that it's easy to become a habit. Here is why you don't want that:

As soon as you start off with "sorry" you set yourself up at a disadvantage. How do you react as soon as someone tells you "Sorry..."? You're already bracing for something unpleasant to come at you. By leading with "sorry" you're staging the conversation on a negative tilt.

It makes you seem uncomfortable and lacking in confidence. If you believe in what you're doing, then you don't need to apologize. Own up to it and be cool.

If you seem weak, people are less likely to believe in you, which in turn means you're less likely to get what you want. When you don't get what you go for, you become discouraged, your confidence suffers, and you become even more timid, then people trust you even less. A little bit of a negative habit will add up to a huge impact over time.

Instead, think like this: in your mind replace "sorry" with "I apologize" and see if that sounds OK to you. "I apologize. Can I borrow you for a minute?" sounds plain weird; don't say "sorry" there. "I apologize for running 10 minutes late" sounds perfectly reasonable; in that case, say that you're sorry. People would appreciate you owning up to something you shoud be genuinely sorry about. That's confidence. But even better yet - just don't do things you'd be sorry about in the first place.